My baby wants to be held all the time. Please help!

QUESTION:

“My 2-month-old baby will only stay quiet for a few minutes after I put her down, but then she starts crying. I’ve tried everything to settle her down, but she won’t stop crying until someone picks her up again. Is it best to just ignore her? What else can I do?”

ANSWERS:

Danni E.

I’m guessing she means night time as well? Can’t really baby wear at night 😕 I had the same issue. The only thing I found that worked was moving from bassinet to cot at 9 weeks, I don’t think he liked the bassinet. Wrapped him tight and had white noise on really loud. Also, side settling in the cot made a big difference.

Hillary S.

As above – babywear. Means bub is happy, not stressed and getting what he/she needs (ie mummy) and you can still get on with things. It’s for such a short amount of time, and the research shows so so so many benefits to babywearing and helping bubs during the 4th trimester by doing this – you can get a lesson in person if you aren’t confident and try out different types of harness/sling/holder to find the right one for you.

Cassey K.

Quite normal for new babies. During the day babywearing is great. At night, rather than attempting to put bub down while awake, have bub’s bed next to yours and breastfeed to sleep. The whole ‘feed plays sleep’ and put bub down drowsy but awake’ isn’t really practical for breastfed bubs, especially when they’re only a few weeks or months old. If you’re giving formula at all, try to avoid it at night as that’s when your milk has more of the hormones that will help bub sleep. Having bub swaddled before the feed can make the transition into the bassinet, cot or side sleeper once bub is asleep easier. You can try the above even if not breastfeeding, bottle to sleep only becomes an issue once bub has teeth. If you’re wanting to give bub tummy time but bub’s not liking it, you can lay down on your back on the couch, bed or floor and give bub tummy time on your chest (just don’t go to sleep with bub on the couch, as it’s a suffocation hazard).

You can also bedshare during the day so that you can nap, by removing pillows and blankets from your bed (turn sheets down over the end of the bed too) and do a side-lying breastfeed, with luck you will be able to catch a nap too.

Oh and make sure dad does some babywearing too! My hubby would pop bub in the ergo to keep her happy when I was working weekends.

Monica T.

Congratulations, you have a normal baby. As above, babywearing is a lifesaver, I highly recommend getting a carrier so you can get things done and keep baby close

Monica T.

Congratulations, you have a normal baby. As above, babywearing is a lifesaver, I highly recommend getting a carrier so you can get things done and keep baby close.

Kirsty-Anne T.

One thing new parents are not aware of is your newborn is very much attached to you. It has just spent 9 months in total warmth. Smelling, listening feeling your heartbeat your voice. When they are born this is all taken away. There need for wanting you is a comfort because it’s all they have ever known. As a Mum of many this can be hard when I introduce a baby. But with time and patience, your newborn will adjust to the world around it. Hold them, tight ladies, they grow so fast.

Kate M.

My 3rd baby was like this, I had her in a carrier for naps and coslept for first 8-10 weeks. I got told this was ‘normal’ and my baby was ‘alert’ she did only want me and would scream with anyone else for the first 3 months. After seeing an osteo however turns out she had a tongue tie affecting her feeding, so she was not gaining weight and hungry and also uncomfortable. We had osteo treatment and reflux meds and got tongue lasered and she slowly became a different baby. So while it may be ‘normal’ there might be something else going on too. It is exhausting but it also really doesn’t last forever.

Alinta K.

You could try babywearing? That way bub gets to be held and you can get stuff done.

Melissa H.

Babywear or just simply sit down and enjoy holding your bub. If you have things that desperately need doing, get a motion swing and put bub in that, in the room that you are in 🙂 Babies need all the snuggles you can manage and they like to be near you. They’ve had the comfort of your belly for 9 months they take a while to adjust on the outside 🙂

Thais C.

All normal, look into the 4th trimester, plus developmental delays that happen during the first year, please don it ignore your baby or let him cry it out, he needs you.

Ashleigh C.

I’m going to throw a spanner in the works here… I used self-settling skills for my third, he has 2 older siblings and they just held him when they were back from school every day, which means he only would sleep in someone’s arms, then at night he would get into a routine of waking every 2 hours to be held to sleep again. It took about 2 days/nights, but I would put him in cot after he was changed, fed, played then settled him on his side/back with white noise (riff, raff) I would let him cry for a 2 minutes (just a whinge cry nothing getting upset) then would go in pat him or pick him up, he stops crying then we do it all again, would only have to let him cry about 3 times and then he would drift off. It saved my sanity at night I was getting very emotional and depressed waking up every 1.5hrs/2hrs overnight every night and then having to hold him during the day. He is now nearly 2 and usually just falls asleep on the lounge next to one of us, we put him in his cot and he’s happy to stay there all night. Babies/toddlers love being around family though especially 2nd+ babies. Sometimes if it’s just during the day babywearing is good but I found it’s restricting and it was hard to get anything done anyway. It’s great to get advice, just remember you are his/her mum and at the end of the day you are the best carer and decision-maker.

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